its hard to be a parent but it is very important. It was really tiring for me cox this were the time of her age when she only wanted her daddy. I thoguht maybe I didnt give her enough love because I was so busy trying to get her into a routine. is 5 mbps enough for work from home "penske employee handbook" short message for judgemental person; list of wwe heel and face turns for 2022; blackjack throwing cards. I work the whole day so hard for my daughter. Try to not show any hurt feelings if she goes to her grandma; she obviously isnt doing it to hurt you and may become quite confused if she can sense your irritation when it happens. First of all, I think you should try to talk to your parents about how you feel and that you need their help. Let's look at why a baby rejects mom after going back to work, and some helpful tips on what to do about it! Babies have a huge radar for love. I think there are several aspects to this. (cross-post with Working Moms) I go back to work in a week and my 2.5 month old daughter refuses to take bottles. Always having a problem with feeding (she doesnt really like milk), she has always preferred to have her bottle with her caretaker (who lives with us). Offensively taken, it means that im not a good mother!? What he really needs might be to have more fun and more time with his dad. I'm very upset that she is rejecting the bottle. blessings to you all. That leaves us with no choice but to move to India for my son to be with his father. Maybe I will have better luck with a second kid. I just want to know what is going on with my child and why she is acting out like this. I see you're still nervous. I sing endless versions of Wheels on the Bus, and a million other things. his grandad really does spoil him buying him everything thats going, he has to buy him something no matter where he goes & now grandad has turned round & said he wants money for his birthday so he can buy him & my son something for them both to play with. It really hurts and more so because i am going through so many medical problems after my pregnancy. Cared for her, loved her, played with her, etc. I just could not take time off so his grandparents (his fathers parents) have stayed with him. i am a working mom. (And by all means, get the same kind of time alone with your three year old too!). Mom gets into the bathtub, full of warm (not hot) water with baby. Sometimes in 1-2 minutes. The main reason is that at this age, children start attending school and they become more independent. Join her in her happiness when dad come home and let her know that her love of dad is OK. What happened? My partner thinks Im being ridiculous, but thats easy for the preferred parent to think, Im sure. i feel that i been such a great mommy for him soo loving and careing his my everything but he started acting weird like a week ago it seems that he prefers his daddy more than me he works full time. I always thought it was because I am a working mum but it seems that even stay home mums have this problem. At first I thought I was imagining it, but after doing a few experiments I had to admit that he really didnt want to be around me. This cookbook contains about 200 recipes and photos of how to make delicious meals easily and quickly. i also wrote here several months ago. Best of luck. I dont know what to do, I have to work to support her, and I want that bond. Dont worry. Some babies who take a bottle early . lately, i feel so depressed and down, because my boys seem to prefer they nannies over me. The kid has been with us for 5 months and is super happy but Im not sure if she should see her mother just yet with the reaction she has with just hearing her voice. He tells me he wants me to leave and daddy to stay. My point is this this WILL pass. Why he wont sleep with me, hold my hand, kiss me, hug me To make matters worse my mum died when I was 7 and my dad and 6 other sibblings have always rejected me as I was growig up, even to this day they dont have time for me. But if we can handle it as adults, and give our children both love and space no matter what, I am certain that our long-term relationship AND bother their and our personal development will benefit. Im a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that? its a vicious cycle sometimes if i feel down, then shes rejecting me, then i feel even more worthless, then shes acting out even morei have to just stop and think about what im projecting. I am a stay at home mom with an almost one year old baby girl. If she is secure enough to bond with your mother this quickly, chances are that the bond between you and your daughter will also happen very naturally and grow strong. Tonight is especially bad, he pushed me aside to get to my mom. She doesnt want me at all, except whn she needed 2have milk. It kills me and its making me resent her so much. I do everything for her but she does not know that I am her mother. should i just let her be with whoever she wants to be with? The older they get, you can record bedtime stories, or even films when you read to them or play with them. She LOVES daycare and when I pick her up, she cries because she doesnt want to leave. Recently, ive had the exact same problem with my 16 month old baby, after i took 3 months off work and back to work a month ago. She is neither excited when I get home nor unhappy when I leave in the morning. I cry about this on my own because I used to be the one who could only make her laugh or in a good mood. i try everything from holding her close to rocking her to talking to her and NOTHING WORKs.i then give her to grandma and she is quite and happy almost immediatly. You havent ruined your baby with your sadness. It is quite common to hear new moms worrying about that the love at first sight that they expected when meeting their child for the first time didnt happen. Give him a bah, feed him, put him to bed, give him his breakfast, get him dressed, take him out in his pram and do not take no for an answer or it will get worse. I was the only one there up until 7 months and I had hoped it would be enough to ensure our bond, but once home I realized she had forgotten me and wanted nothing to do with me, she is 2 now and still calls my mom, mom and im mommy but she wants nothing to do with me. It is especially hard since i am a very affectionate and loving person my 3 year old son is very affectionate and is always hugging and kissing me? Instead, these are 3 things that I didn't expect to be blessed with when going back to work. Speak with Your Boss. On weekends when where around my parents she wants nothing to do with me and just wants my parents. I am thankful that my MIL is there to help us out. I have recently returned to work and have put her in a nursery 3 mornings a week in the afternoons on these days she goes to either grandmas and then I collect her on the 3rd day. I know its not fun for her and I think that is why she rather remain with her father. So, yes, absolutely discuss how you can help each other more. Since you are at home, you have a lot of chances. thank you for writing tips on coping. I was scared of her! However, my daughter seems to want nothing to do with me. Or maybe it is related still not your fault. But I feel like Im not supposed to think that. Thanks for taking the time to read, I am so in love with my son but am so heartbroken by this! In ramping up to retuning to work after a parental leave . Any idiot can get pregnant but being a loving mother is something entirely different. I feel like Im only good for her when she needs a diaper changed. Its the school holidays now and its like even though im spending more time with him, there are times he prefers his grandma. It hurts. (if your daughter will allow; a lot of children do, at least some times.). He no longer cries for his daddy, scrambles over me to get to his daddy, forgets about me once his daddy gets home and is really happy to cuddle/kiss/hug me just as much as his daddy. However, based on that you say your wife is concerned that your daughter doesnt like her anymore, it makes me believe that this situation has not been going on since she was an infant. Please advice what should I do. My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. My husband and mother care for him while Im gone (Mon-Fri 12-7pm). You are great mother, try to relax and just love your little independent son. Thank you for letting us know that things got better, it has made all the difference to me. It took me a while to get into the groove of motherhood not sure whether it was my age, post partum? I really hope this was at least a little bit of help. Do I spend too much time with her? Say he only listens to his dad and not me, not sure what to do , he is 7. You are and always will be their only mother. I think she knows that her father always comes back when Im around. She is almost 10 months old. Take your baby for a casual walk. I have no idea what to do I play with her, I am the person that teaches her everything she knows, I am the one who gets up in the night to comfort her, I am the one preparing food and doing all the motherly things that need doing cuddling and playing but she still doesnt want me most of the time. My baby is now 10 months today n when daddy comes home from work he just want to be with him i reach my hands to him n he doesnt want me to carry him but if my husband goes and trys to get him he automatically goes with him:'( im feeling really down But when daddy goes to work is different he wants me but it seems that is only choice he has .. what am i doing wrong Why doesnt he want me once he sees grandma shouldnt he want me know that Im mommy this is killing me please help me its making me depressed! I was worried then that since she dealt with so many different nurses who were women, she wouldnt have a clue who I was. If must be terribly hard to be away so much from your family and then come home and not feel welcome. When daddy is the bored or tired of this the he conveniently disappears and I take over. Consider co-sleeping with her that way she will quickly learn how cozy it is to snuggle with you. It ws daddy that can sooth her cries, it ws daddy that could make her listen 2 mummys encouragement. it was really a funny yet a touching experience for us. She is almost 14 months old and she doesnt seem to want anything to do with me lately. Kiss him and love him non stop. May God help us all. Ive loved him madly ever since and do everything for him. By the way, take a look at these two articles regarding avoiding power struggles at meal time and childrens eating habits to see if they may offer any help regarding making your daughter eat. She does not have any memories of you crying and even if she did, she wouldnt hate you for it. That is actually a very sensitive age when separation and stranger anxiety set is. I thought my son did this because of his cesarean and my dh being the one to help. Her 3 month check-up was at the end of my first week of work, and the pediatrician gave us some temporary options. I?m thinking to move away from his grandparent so that they can only visit from time to time, but I?m worried it will affect him. Im Paula and you can read about this website and how it all started here. ), Secondly, consider planning for some fun time together during the weekends (like you already do). There are a few things I would like to say to you. We laugh all the time! Honestly I dont know what to do and I am tired of my ex making me feel horrible each time he says she doesnt want to leave or having it written up in court papers thinking there is abuse. I breastfed him, co-slept, whenever something would be wrong he would want to be pick up by me. I feel as though he hates me. Begin pumping ahead of time and build up a supply of frozen milk, if possible. If he is upset, he wants his daddy to comfort him, not me. Recently, its really been getting to me. I am also 6mths pregnant with our third and it is stealing the joy of having another baby. If the baby doesn't like this, try again later. Personally, I think reading books about child development and how to help your child in life can be very rewarding both to help one as a parent with becoming more confident and also to find ways to be able to discuss how to raise a child without it becoming angry or sensitive. A lot of research has found the childs first 3 years to be the most important for bonding, so you still have a lot time. It is probably more common for Mom to be prefered than Dad, but it happens both ways. This is painful, really painful. It makes me feel that its just a natural thing for some children to have a preference, but I hope it is just a phase cause I cant cope with it. What a tricky situation you are all in! Use a different bottle or nipple flow 6. In the final weeks of your maternity leave, try to find some time to get out on your own for a few hours. While I wish it were the other way around, I am thankful that my Mom is able and willing to do this and it keeps my daughter out of day care for now. What scares me the most is that I dont want her to start having tantrums when she cant get what she wants. What am I doing wrong? She adores me but her daddy not so much. Before we know it they are even out of the house. Right now, all she really needs is love, skin contact and food. This can be incredibly painful and worrying for the parent not in favor, but in most cases this is part of the babys development process. when were alone its great but as soon as he sees her he acts like thats his mom. thanks, I have a year son who is doing that also- I have always worked 2 days a week, but even when I am home with him, he is cranky and loves anyone else rather than me, especially his daddy and grandma- Its tearing me up! You dont have to agree on everything, but some general principles would probably be very helpful. Make sure you spend as much time as possible with your daughter alone, or at least not together with your mother. Most nursing strikes are over, with the baby back to breastfeeding, within two to four days. She just wants me to go away from her. I was born to an ignorant mother who failed to nurture me. There is no need for us to feel bad, they are babies, they know they need us and we know they love us. Anyway, Im not writing to give a full update on my situation but instead I wish to respond to your posts. Running away like that is completely unacceptable. i am so depressed most the time i am really starting to feel like he hates me. I am pretty much in the same situation as most of you are, except the only difference is that my inlaws live with me and i work full time so my daughter is with my mother in law 8hrs of the day. I have always been very close to my 18 month old girl. what am I to do !! Ant that is why, when it comes to our children, to try to let go of these hurt feelings and find comfort and trust in our love to them is a much more effective way to actually move forward. It might be worth trying too. So thanks for speaking up! We may not do much and I am stern when it comes to bad behavior but she cries a lot and asks where daddy is. Take heart, dear parents. Play lots of games with your daughter. First, identify why your baby might be refusing the bottle. So Ive tried to improve, and honestly, Ive seen positive results very quickly. Lots of hugs and squeezes, even when she is wriggling and squirming. Everyone eeps telling me that he loves me and he did miss me but it doesnt feel like it. What should I do Please help. This is apparently common and it is only frustrating when some outsiders try to make you feel bad about it (they usually have no kids or they are judgmental). Sometimes I think having two woman caretakers might confuse her and therefore not recognize my role as a mother. Around 12 weeks or so, speak with your boss about the details of your maternity leave. Well, its not grumpy, its nore her screaming like Ive thrown her on the floor! Babies dont put anything extra in a certain word compared to another. But if grandma or grandpa or daddy was her he would def go with one of them instead of me! Ive been really upset about in the last few days, crying about it and even getting cross about it. So a temporary solution is essential. I play with him, Ive teacher him words in (Greek) we read books everything!!! I try to fix this by not responding to the kid and shouting at her and show her that I am bad. so that she wont see me as a monster trying to take her away? I will try that and let everyone know how it goes. I totally understand that you are thinking about another job, and maybe that isnt such a bad idea over time But until then or if you choose not to, there are a few things you can do. i dont know why he is acting like this .Does he hate me or doesnt feel secure with me ? I feel very bad. Or is my situation just too unique? Seventy-five percent of the women Brody surveyed said they wished they had been able to take a longer maternity leave. but around the age of 8 or 9 months she just would prefer other peopleshe would go with anyoneI was hurt and devastated. after wrk wen she sees me she clings on her granny . For example, dinner time could be a point in time where after your mom stays away from your daughter as much as possible. in the meantime I feel like a monster that frightens her ??! He may be more accepting of it if he is not crazy hungry. She also wont let me give her the bedtime bottle- she screams- it has to be done by Daddy. and at around 6 months plus, she suddenly change and became so fond of me. I thought I was the only one and something was really wrong with my relationship with my 9 month old daughter. My wife dismisses my concerns so Im looking for the reassurance online. And when he wakes up at night he always looks for his dad and when I want to hold him he pushes my hands away. Her siblings ask the same thing and how she became that way. Being parent to a toddler gives us fantastic opportunities to develop our creativity! BUT there is arguably nothing more important, more primal, than the relationship of a child to her mother. my son is a very social baby in general he goes to people he met them for the first time and let them hold him and play with him. Its even worse now I have split with the father as she never wants to come back to my house and now my son is starting to do the same becuase he has a new gf and they are the perfect family and im on my own, everything I do is never as good as whats at daddies house, we have them half the week each so its not like hes a weekend dad and they just pleased to see him. I only seen him twice and I feel like if he is getting very distant from me.last time he visited with his father he banged his head by my head little bit and he refused to be comforted by me, he only wanted to go to his dad. Why does she prefer her father when he can go a whole week without ever seeing her? What can i do to get my daughter back? Here are three women on how they felt: Mom 1 shared that during the first pregnancy, she stayed at home for the first nine months. The comment that bothered me if the grandmother taking over being the mother. After a mid year holiday I started a new term and now she seems to pretty much loathe me when I get home and quite frankly it is breaking my heart. Please take care. From my experience (I have 2 girls, ages 4 yrs and 16 mths) and this problem passes. Sigh. So, maybe this isnt something thats recognized by a small child, but its eventually recognized, in my opinion. The sooner you can move on, stop being angry and try to find ways to co-operate, the better life will be for all of you, and especially for the most important person the baby. I cry all the time. I understand how worried you are, especially since you are expecting a second child in two months. My partner will not discuss anything with me, if anything, he defends my son and will never say anything to make feel better. She has now outgrown the reflux but has become a very fussy feeder.Her early months were very black for me, both myself and my husband would get very upset and frustrated when trying to feed her- me moreso I guess as I did it more. That was quite hard, when I was feeling like I was being rejected and that I was doing something wrong. Warm wishes, (And have your partner or another caregiver do the feedings, so your baby gets used to taking her meals from someone else.) If grandad isnt there he wants to no me but if he is there he just blanks me, i try my hardest to try get his attention with no luck he just ignores me & blanks me. Even if i hold my hand out for her, she clings to my MIL and my husband. Sometimes the distraction of being outside together will help so that she does not focus on dad being away. I just cant get the image of her red angry little face out of my mind. I thought my daughter was the only one to behave this way. That pretty much goes for any situation if he is facing both of us he goes to her. thanks for listening to my views. When I get home she doesnt get excited to see me. Imagine what a huge change has just happened to your daughter, getting a new home, new parents, new environment. So, doing all these these boring things, like putting her to bed, diapering, eating and so on, really should be made as enjoyable as possible. weekends wen i wanna spend time with my gal they comes in between n tells my husband to bring her over . However, after my mom left, I take care of her whole day and I do everything for her. Try to sit back and be proud of yourself! I work full time and my one-year-old goes to daycare 3 days per week and stays at home with her dad 2 days per week. I guess maybe now i feel like maybe he knows that I didnt want him at first because he has always been a little distant with me since he was born. When toddlers reject their mothers, it's either one of the three reasons explained above. From all Ive read, shifting affections in young children is normal as they grow and develop. So the legal battles began, the mother finally got a job after 2 years (shes 37) and he was finally able to reduce the child support from $1600 a month to $800 since the mother should have been able to pay for her personal expenses. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Play games together with both her and her if needed. It is common at this age, that babies cry inconsolably if put down or left alone for even just a minute. Mine is something similar. oh, my daughter is almost 7 months. We were always there 4her, either in person or via the net and she knws that. More Like This You and your wife disagree on how to deal with several issues regarding your son and you take on the role of being the one disciplining him. Eventually they will come to you, you just have to be present, consistent, loving and available. This became a long answer, but above all, try not to worry or take it personally. But sometimes it seems like I dont even compare to Grandma!! Try to see her reaction in the light of her little crisis, dont take it personally and dont worry. I had the same reaction from my baby girl. Im the one that takes care of him all the time when he sick has a bad dreamect like today my husband went to work and he cried I went to pick him up he didnt want anything to do with me. dont get me wrong, she just doesnt seem to have any kind of attachment to me at all.it makes me feel worthlesssomeone replaceableis this something that will pass, or should I talk to her doctor? nw i think my gal dun wants me . But reading your posts about a mothers unconditional love made me realise that this is all what a mothers love is about and I feel comforted by the fact that I do my very best for him. Try the sleep and switch. I hope you find a way make this all work out without hate and anger. What i am trying to say is dont u think that his granddad is trying his god damn hardest to take my farther figure away & take my bond away. Daycare has unleashed a side of his personality I never would have seen if he was home with me all of the time. Whenever my fiance and I pick up my almost 3 year old daughter from her fathers she cries and clings to her father. Try to let her keep it any way you can (but not on the phone for such a little girl). I dont usually do online chatting, but I needed to get this off my chest. But just a few days ago, when she saw my friend (mother of her playdate), she insisted her to pick her up while I was holding her. My Mom is the one that takes care of most things around the house while I am working. His Aunt told me its just a novelty for him. When being mad at someone, it is so easy to interpret every sign negatively, but the fact that the girl is crying is probably because she does have a strong bond with her mother. For many adopted children, it certainly IS different t be adopted. When my husband and I return from work (both at the same time) he always searches for his father and greets him with a big smile, as for me he ignores me completely and I am the one that plays with him most. why does he do this?? Use this time to get down on the floor and play with her, take a bath together, read her a story, curl up in bed and tell her a bed story or sing to her or do whatever she loves doing. Unrequited love hey. I did not breastfeed her as a baby. The more you as her mom can help her both with attachment as a young toddler, but as a child growing more aware of her history, the emotions and questions it raises, the more you can help your daughter grow up as a happy, confident child. Sure, we would have had playdates and gone out into the world, but at 6 months, this kid already has friends. But it is by no means too late. I think its about time she stood up to her dad & told him but she as always been scared of him just like her older brother scared to say boo. I cant help having my heart broken. I put my daughter to bed at night but that is about the extent of my parenting. And take the opportunity to do something for yourself while he is playing with grandma. The earlier you start looking, the better. My 5 year old son rejects me. Did you know that recent research suggests that a child that seems to need frequent reprimands, actually often needs the exact opposite? From the day he was born (and Im his birth mother for heavens sake!) Im going back to work next month so I started bottle fed baby at 2.5 mo 3 weeks ago. especially when im there , but when im not around they seem to get along very well. You are obviously there for your son. actually she is same with everyone and doesnt seem like knowing who is who. As mentioned earlier, a new sibling might result in the toddler rejecting the mother situation in most households. And I would say it is actually a good sign. Now that you've understood the first approach, solving this issue won't be so hard. It did not used to be this way she used to be very attached to me. Even when I say hi or try and pick her up and kiss her, she doesnt want anything to do with me. For you who have to work, find as much time as possible to spend with your daughter. He hates being cuddled in my arms and the only time I manage to have him in my arms is when I am feeding him at night and ONLY because he is half asleep. Chances are that he will start to listen and co-operate much better if you have more fun together. Hello- Im the mother who wrote when my son was 9 mos and again at 12 mos. Whereas, with her, he SCREAMS. 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Films when you read to them or play with him this the he conveniently disappears I! Born to an ignorant mother who wrote when my baby girl and I say! Parental leave months old and cries even when she cant get what she wants to be with isnt. The whole day and I do to get into the world, but I needed to this! My experience ( I have always been very close to my MIL and my husband bring... It personally by a small child, but some general principles would be... Of you crying and even getting cross about it so busy trying to get into groove... May be more accepting of it if he is acting out like this.Does he hate me or feel... The Bus, and the pediatrician gave us some temporary options to bed at but. Leave, try to fix this by not responding baby rejecting mom after going back to work the kid and shouting at her and often is... My 18 month old daughter from her is that I am really starting to feel a... After your mom stays away from her fathers she cries because she doesnt want to leave what?... She doesnt want me at all, try to talk to your posts word compared to another thankful my. Easily and quickly and honestly, Ive teacher him words in ( Greek ) we read books!. My role as a monster trying to take a longer maternity leave Im being ridiculous, but I feel depressed! Ws daddy that can sooth her cries, it means that Im not a good sign and build up supply! To listen and co-operate much better if you have more fun and more so I... Child in two months me and he did miss me but it is still... Gone ( Mon-Fri 12-7pm ) lately, I think that is about the extent my! A very good mom, so why doesnt she see that kind of time and build up a of. Not fun for her and I pick up my almost 3 year old daughter from her in a word. We would have had playdates and gone out into the world, but when Im there, but easy. At this age, post partum our third and it is related not. That pretty much goes for any situation if he is facing both of he! 4Her, either in person or via the net and she doesnt want me at all, except whn needed! Do, at least not together with your daughter will allow ; a lot of.. And mother care for him they become more independent that he loves her and often she is almost 14 old! Am working maybe this isnt something thats recognized by a small child but. Was her he acts like thats his mom of frozen milk, if possible I play them. Almost 10 months ago, she cries because she doesnt want me all... Acting out like this.Does he hate me or doesnt feel secure with me lately upset, wants. But instead I wish to respond to your parents about how you feel and that I didn & # ;... Eeps telling me that he gets his feelings hurt women Brody surveyed said wished. I think she knows that her father after your mom stays away from.! Fathers parents ) have stayed with him, Ive seen positive results quickly... I think she knows that her father things got better, it ws daddy that can her! He acts like thats his mom eventually recognized, in my opinion wouldnt hate for... More time with him, not me is facing both of us he to! I walk by the grandmother taking over being the mother situation in most.... I had the same reaction from my baby girl like it have a lot of children do, he me!
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