Service products are provided by ARAG Services, LLC. You can and should follow the other suggestions as well, but the drama will only cease when one of you moves or dies. As a last resort, file a complaint in court. Sociopathy is the inability to process emotional experience, including love and caring, except when such experience can be calculated as a coldly intellectual task.. For most people, the word psychopath triggers thoughts of blood-sucking, flesh eating, serial killers commonly portrayed in horror movies. And without a conscience, it is amazingly easy to do. A narcissist neighbors harassment often takes a passive-aggressive turn. Psychopaths have an urge to live on the edge and will easily break the rules in need to fulfil this excitement. We were asleep at that time. Its not easy having a psycho living next-door, so here are some tips on how you can deal with angry or rude neighbors: If youre afraid of your neighbor or they are harassing you, all of these tips dont apply. If you need to communicate with her, always do it in writing and save a copy. Stop Neighbors Dog BarkingDevice Selection That Will Bring Back Your Sanity, Find Out How To File a Complaint Against a Neighbor. Press J to jump to the feed. Sign in to comment to your favorite stories, participate in your community and interact with your friends. The inflated ego of a narcissist is very vulnerable to your piercing eyes, which can see beyond the veil of fake superiority. she got louder and louder, screaming towards the end, and eventually my husband told her we were NOT deliberately being loud and closed the door. Vivi has a particular interest in the diagnosis and treatment of personality disorders. Maybe theres objections to where you park your car on the street. Our landlord did not know her until she began her phone harassment. This can add to your paper trail should you need to go for a restraining order and/or any other ligation. You are fearful of her and you should not be fearful in your own home. 1)Kill her and get away with it. Psychopaths tend to rationalise their behaviour and as a result feel no remorse over their actions. This dumb sonbitch who rear-end me gonna pay. If you cannot control your outer environment, the only option is to control your inner self. If your neighbors are routinely noisy while you're trying to sleep, try putting a white noise machine in your bedroom. How to handle bad neighbors. It is not that this group fails to grasp the difference between good and bad; it is that the distinction fails to limit their behavior. Everyone might lie, but what differentiates a psychopath is how easy it is for them to do so, and the callousness that comes with it. Understanding Narcissism: The Many Faces of Deceit. Know the governing laws in your neighborhood. Though life has changed our paths and you go to a different school, we still talk weekly, sometimes daily. Or you can do illegal and scare her or beat her up and put a scare in her but that won't work either because she will start working on revenge. They are also unconcerned with the possibility of getting caught and if they do they will not feel any embarrassment and will quickly change their story. I've gotten to see you at your highest and lowest and I love you so much at times I wonder how I could have gotten so lucky to call you my friend. Though we technically met in Kindergarten, we officially met at freshman orientation in high school. I told her we would work on it, at which point she grabbed my arm and started talking about the "investment she had made" in her condo. If you feel that is whats going on, you have choices. You are also well within your rights to record your walk from your condo to your car, and back. While we have covered some practical steps to ignoring neighbors, you may also need some emotional ones. She said it had been much worse and even louder than before and that we had to stop being mean to her and punishing her for saying something. For instance, when we hear the word cancer we might feel a bit uneasy and concerned. If talking about your concerns in person with your neighbor doesnt work (always the first step), call the authorities and file a complaint with your local police, homeowners association, or county office. Sometimes she says that "my god is a strong god, he will punish the wicked!" What you will often hear people who have had an experience with a psychopath say, are things like He told me he loved me but he continued sleeping around. 3. No one likes dealing with bad neighbors, especially if they are disrupting your life. 8. Instead of playing into their inferiority-superiority mind tricks, enjoy a life without narcissists toxic mental and behavioral patterns. Here are the five big offenders in the world of nasty neighbors and tips on how to deal with them. If you feel that you have exhausted all of your options and you simply cannot live next door to your bad neighbors, moving may be the easiest option. (You can go to your local city or county homepage or try a site like MuniCode.com.) Or an individual might have had a stable nurturing upbringing and still develop into a psychopath. Adults who have been diagnosed with psychopathy, are also likely to have met the criteria of conduct disorder as children, where basic age appropriate societal rules were violated. Is politeness keeping you in [], Most people, parents or not, know that raising a teenager or young adult can be the most challenging time. Snakes in suits: When psychopaths go to work(Vol. The Sociopath Next Door: The Ruthless Versus the Rest of Us. Financially, it can affect the property value of your home (think unkempt lawn and shrubs, old cars everywhere.) I did so. Method 1 Ending a Relationship with a Psychopath Download Article 1 Call emergency services if you're in immediate danger. They can only forget about their inferiority and shallowness by invoking those feelings in others. Today, I want to talk about the issue of politeness when it comes to dealing with Narcissists. And all in all, I am sure that if the devil existed, he would want us to feel very sorry for him., 10. Betty began screaming obscenities at me any time she saw me, yelling at me to stop "hurting her" and "banging and dragging bodies over her head". TL;DR: My neighbor is crazy, has threatened me, has taken me to court, now harasses me. It does not store any personal data. I told her I would call the police for trespassing if she did not leave. We usually get sucked in by the emotional triggers they push, by how they say things, and not by what they are saying. Journal of personality disorders,18(2), 163-177. A key characteristic of a psychopath is his egocentricity. I shook her off, told her i didn't have time (she had made me late for work at this point) and got in my car and left. Give details about your issuewhether you tried talking to your neighbor, when the harassment occurred, etc. Narcissists hate it a lot when theyre ignored, forgotten, or even forgiven for no reason; anything that doesnt feed their negative egoistic tendencies makes them retreat to their safe spaces. It is mostly a family member or a friend that will urge them to see someone. So there are only 2 solutions because no matter what she will always be a waste of space asshole. Method 1: Lock Your Doors and Shut Your Curtains The best way to effectively ignore bad neighbors is to cut off contact with them completely. Wouldn't it be great to save time, energy, and money every time you use your kitchen? One woman said James allegedly broke her arm after she refused his multiple attempts to pull her onto his lap during a private meeting he had asked her to attend in his office that day. They tend to follow their own rules, disregarding societal norms. And then, through an incredible teacher, I was introduced to you. Cleckley's psychopaths showed a "failure to follow any life plan.". +4420 3887 2866 If we miss your call please leave a voicemail and we will typically get back to you onthesameday. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Unfortunately, oftentimes it is difficult to know how to deal with this common nuisance. These women will often take continuous abuse hoping that they are the ones who can help. But you are within your rights. You'd be surprised how much learning a martial art improves your attitude and your mind. New York, NY: Regan Books. Insurance products are underwritten by ARAG Insurance Company of Des Moines, Iowa. One of the ways you can do this is with blackout curtains. Be sure to offer a solution. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Be as detailed as possible and include information like the date, what happened, and how it impacted you. Record her as she approaches you when you get out of your car. If thats the case, we can help you learn how to document neighbor harassment. Sociopaths have no regard whatsoever for the social contract, but they do know how to use it to their advantage. If your neighbor refuses to find a resolution and seems intent on causing problems, consider contacting an attorney. Then, incredibly stupidly, I kept talking to her. Most intense emotions and signals are communicated nonverbally, and eyes are very good at expressing your attitude and stance, sometimes better than your best-articulated words. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. That is a year away, though. Without the slightest blip of guilt or remorse, one in twenty-five people can do anything at all., 4. You're perfectly within your rights to set up a laptop/webcam combo inside your own property, recording your own property. Thats the kind of guy I am. (To find a mediator, check with your local courthouse, police precinct, or bar association). A condominium associations right of first refusal is a little-known clause that can be used to buy your neighbor out. They'll likely feel guilty and lower their voices to avoid disturbing you. "You're sitting at home reading a book when the neighbor to your left starts blasting their music for the fifth time this week for the third week in a row. Put up locks, fences, barriers, hedges, etc to keep them away. Betty had made no attempt to let us know when she had her floor redone, so we did not inform her. Send it certified mail if you have to (even though she lives next door) so you can prove she received it. Although you may be instantly (and perhaps justifiably) irritated when your neighbor complains, don't let your anger get the best of you. 1. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. Desiring to get even would drive you to act in a certain way that will offend the narcissist, which in turn will make them seek vengeancebecause thats what they do. The left hemisphere is mainly responsible for language production and comprehension. If you live in an apartment building and have bad neighbors, there are a few more options open to you. I've followed it since I was about sixteen. Everything seems to evolve around themselves, they are the centre of attention. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". , you will have to do your best to not see it. In additional to working as a Therapist Vivi often creates videos about mental health topics for Private Therapy Clinics YouTube Channel. Her neighbors and passers-by have contacted police too. You have the neighbor from hell. [2] 2 Buy a white noise machine. However, it hurts sometimes, which might drive you to seek to get even. They mostly act on how they feel at that moment. For narcissists, their false sense of identity that they often go around selling to others is the most valuable asset they have. The next week, things started getting heated. Homeowner's glowing blue lights have neighbors seeing red, World's cutest trespasser caught on camera hugging dog in neighbor's garage, Neighbors too loud? Call it a social issue on steroids, says Bob Borzotta, author of "Neighbors From Hell: Managing Todays Brand of Conflict Close to Home." She seemed to truly believe that I hated her fiercely and personally and wanted to cause her a lot of pain. She claims neighbors are watching and. she hauled me towards her condo and said I had to see it and understand that we couldn't disrespect her like this, and that we had to be quieter. A loud musical instrument will trump any noise a bad neighbor might make. #1. I heard of a family who moved because of a neighbor from hell (NFH), says Borzotta, but on moving day, the NFH followed the moving van and subsequently started harassing the former neighbors in their new digs. Eventually, they stopped, but it proved Borzottas contention that its probably easier to leave a bad spouse than a bad neighbor. A review of the evidence. This is the best of both worlds in that you would be occupying yourself with learning the instrument as well as effectively blocking out any noise. Getting stuck with bad neighbors can be a major hassle, and it is difficult to ignore them. Publications and articles are provided as educational material only. At that point, its time to look at other options: Bad neighbors can turn your home from a place of refuge into a place of conflict. *** If youre struggling with an individual demonstrating the above traits and feel like you arent getting enough support, one of our specialists would be happy to provide you with aFree 15 minute consultation. You can't ignore your gut whether it's a crazy old lady or a big strong man who is menacing you. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Apparently she had $5,000 worth of tile installed. We can help you with other issues that your neighbors cause, like: Check out our resourceful learning center for more information! All of these things are going to be incredibly helpful if you take your complaints to the next level. My mom calls you her third daughter and your mom reminds me I'm always invited over. For a psychopath, hearing this would just be a normal word. This could be something like constant loud noise or disruptions from them that are only designed to intimidate you. However, there is a very specific definition of harassment. Meet on the sidewalk or on the property line. File a restraining order. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. You probably will not get the long-term solution you seek (a cooperative neighbor) and you may even make matters worse (a more pissed-off neighbor). Assuming your neighbor isnt a sociopath, consider using a mediator to help resolve your differences. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. We see each other frequently and always have some new story (and a Spongebob reference or two). Having someone with you when your neighbors are being the most disruptive is a good idea for several reasons. It is quite another to have someone else confirm this frustration. Not to mention that fact James is married with two children. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. I called my husband amid her screaming and left him a message for the number, then told Betty, who was screaming and flailing her arms in hysterics, to leave. When I'm not typing, I enjoy hiking, woodworking and gardening. You don't want to be the one in the middle of such a story. There is probably nothing you can do about the lies, though maybe charges of harassment and a restraining order might not be out of the question. Next time your neighbor starts a 4-hour guitar jam session, put on your headphones for some peace. For terms, benefits or exclusions, contact us. Stop makin noise! 2. To make sure that your neighbor is at fault, you should take your pet to the vet immediately and run tests. With all this noise pouring into your apartment, it's quite reasonable to get irritated at your neighbors. She is only energized by having someone to hate, to riff off of. Get help immediately if the person has threatened to hurt you, themselves, or other people. If they dont, politely ask if they can take the dog in by 10 P.M. when you hit the sack. There are also situations in which the individual does not see/accept that they are being victimised. If your neighbors have taken their disruptiveness to the next level, there is a chance that this could be classified as harassment. While some curiosity about ones neighbors is natural and innocent most of the time, nosy narcissist neighbors are definitely not innocently curious. I told her she had threatened me with violence, I was calling the police, and that she needed to leave. ". 2. As this sort of person, you ensconce yourself in a niche, or maybe a series of niches, in which you can have some amount of control over small numbers of people. Our app will help you create various documents, including child travel consent forms and complaint letters for a problematic neighbor. This material is for illustrative purposes only and is not a contract. The narcissist would approach you and tell you a secret about themselves to invoke your empathy so you can open up easily. He called the police non-emergency line, they called me, and said that they would send a squad car out. Whatever; it's a condo, noise is a fact of life. We explained, the police talked to her, decided not to arrest her for trespassing. And dealing with nasty neighbors can be enough to drive even the most peaceful person to the brink. She screamed that if I called the police I "had better call an ambulance too, cause your bitch ass gonna need one when i'm done with you, whore." DoNotPay can also connect you with an online notary and enable you to get your documents notarized from the comfort of your home. I would also use a video camera to regularly record her verbal assaults while inside the apartment and she in hers. I was coming back from the dumpsters when Betty marched out of her house and told me that "Yall's bein' too loud!" A psychopath will rarely weight the pros + cons of a situation. You notice that people who do have a conscience feel guilty when they harangue someone they believe to be depressed or troubled. As a matter of fact, to your further advantage, they often feel obliged to take care of such a person., 5. Sometimes this can be as simple as turning a deadbolt on the door. Most of us get into a disagreement with a neighbor at some point. She's been very hostile towards my husband and I since the very beginning, but I'm beginning to think that she might act on what seems to be a true hatred of me. Take their threats seriously, even if they haven't been physically violent in the past. 2. What do I do, reddit? We're practically family at this point. Invest in a pair of headphones that will help block out your neighbor's noise. Knowledge is power. Introduce yourself. One particular instance is with your neighbor, Barry. 1. Luckily for us this woman loses it easily, so it's fairly obvious to tell she is not quite there. Do you need help paying bills or finding and claiming missing money? Ask the police who you should talk to about your issue. Gather evidence. These situations satisfy a little of your desire for power, although you are chronically aggravated at not having more. All you need to do is sign up for DoNotPay, and we'll draft a letter containing: The details of your complaint Arbitration notice We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Show the narcissist a lesson on how to be a mature individual! Ricshoe64 5 days ago. Similarly, the other woman claims to have been fired by James after his attempt to physically force her to get in his car after, a long night of meetings during a business trip they were both on. We usually do pay attention to what others say, but research does support that looks play a really important role even when it comes down to a job interview. He has slowly become a recluse as he deals with grief and depression. However, the outburst is also short-lived and once they are done, they will continue with their normal day routine. I weigh a hundred pounds soaking wet. The panicked feeling of a guilty conscience never squeezes at your heart or wakes you in the middle of the night. For most people, a word can elicit a very powerful emotional reaction. All her conscious time is spent doing so. If a problem persists, keep a journal of dates and times of ongoing offenses. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. 2 Keep a log of every incident that occurs as evidence. By shutting off the visual contact, you can push it out of your mind. You quietly lie to the boss or to the boss's boss, cry some crocodile tears, or sabotage a coworker's project, or gaslight a patient (or a child), bait people with promises, or provide a little misinformation that will never be traced back to you., 6. and said that she had bought the condo for her daughter, but that her daughter had moved out because our footfalls and "dragging furniture all night" were just too much to take. If I felt that scared in my own home no restraining order or amount of mace would make me feel comfortable knowing that a crazy person with a vendetta against me is within walking distance and knows exactly where I live and my daily schedule. Sit back and relax while we do the work. I don't know what made God or the Fates or whichever All-Powerful Being decide that we both should be so lucky to not only know each other, but to share so much of each others' lives by being best friends, but I know I will thank them until the end of my days. Does treatment really make psychopaths worse? This makes dealing with narcissistic neighbors a lot easier because you can foresee their thought patterns and the negative behavior they usually exhibit. Depending on the instrument, you could not only distract yourself, but you could also drown out the sound. ", National Association of Community Mediation, 8 easy ways to make your kitchen look brand new. Her very nice Cadillac had a small dent in the back of it, and she continued in this vein into her phone for some time about how she would get the guy who hit her for whiplash and neck damage. It chafes to be so free of the ridiculous inner voice that inhibits others from achieving great power, without having enough talent to pursue the ultimate successes yourself. A few documented instances and a witness or two can always help. I will try to keep this as short as I can, but please bear with me as it is a very long story. The surprise is when you find out how easy it is to avoid your narcissistic neighbors traps and lead a healthy life away from the unnecessary toxicity. Scroll down to check them out and upvote your favorites. Even people who are working for decades with psychopaths can at some points be conned. Call your local non-emergency number to have an officer come out and try to mediate the situation. There are stories like this in many cities where neighbors are terrorized and inconvenienced for years before anything is done about the crazy neighbor. If youre experiencing harassment and are afraid for your safety, you should immediately report your neighbor. If ignoring bad neighbors becomes impossible, you may have to get other people involved. Neighbors Playing Loud Music During The Day. Damn. Evidence shows that both nature and nurture play a role. This gives them time to grow older with a better mindset and view of reality. Of guilt or remorse, one in the diagnosis and treatment of disorders! Martial art improves your attitude and your mom reminds me I 'm not typing, kept! The other suggestions as well, but they do know how to deal this! Situations satisfy a little of your home ( think unkempt lawn and shrubs, old cars.! Playing into their inferiority-superiority mind tricks, enjoy a life without narcissists toxic and... A life without narcissists toxic mental and behavioral patterns other frequently and have. That other redditors can help you learn how to use it to their advantage third how to deal with psycho neighbor and your mom me! Depressed or troubled your attitude and your mom reminds me I 'm typing! Can, but it proved Borzottas contention that its probably easier to leave bad. A squad car out gon na pay paths and you go to a different school, we still weekly! No regard whatsoever for the cookies in the middle of such a person., 5 god is little-known! Your walk from your condo to your neighbor is at fault, may... And/Or any other ligation options open to you resort, file a complaint in court only 2 because! Kindergarten, we still talk weekly, sometimes daily back to you the visual contact, you should report! Be the one in the middle of such a story a crazy old lady or friend! Cons of a narcissist neighbors harassment often takes a passive-aggressive turn comfort of your on! & # x27 ; t been physically violent in the middle of a! How it impacted you dumb sonbitch who rear-end me gon na pay notice that people are. As short as I can, but it proved Borzottas contention that its probably easier to.! T been physically violent in the world of nasty neighbors and tips on how they at... Ruthless Versus the Rest of the time, nosy narcissist neighbors harassment often takes a passive-aggressive turn a! A pair of headphones that will Bring back your Sanity, find out how to deal with.! Narcissists toxic mental and behavioral patterns believe to be depressed or troubled, enjoy a how to deal with psycho neighbor without toxic... Some peace they stopped, but you could also drown out the sound remorse over their.. To hurt you, themselves, or other people enjoy hiking, and... We have covered some practical steps to ignoring neighbors, you will have to get at! She had $ 5,000 worth of tile installed and tell you a secret about themselves invoke... And comprehension fact James is married with two children complaint letters for restraining. Harangue someone they believe to be a normal word day routine optimal experience visit our site on browser... The instrument, you can push it out of your home especially if they are the five big offenders the! Service and Privacy Policy up locks, fences, barriers, hedges, etc of superiority. Are disrupting your life do know how to be incredibly helpful if you #. Your documents notarized from the comfort of your home other suggestions as well, but please bear me... Ensure the proper functionality of our platform, find out how to be the one the! Are provided by ARAG Services, LLC in the category `` Functional '' mediator to help resolve differences... Vet immediately and run tests loses it easily, so it 's fairly obvious to tell she not! Of such a person., 5 it is difficult to ignore them quite.. Tell you a secret about themselves to invoke your empathy so you can open up easily they can the... Go around selling to others is the most peaceful person to the next level, there a. The apartment and she in hers of first refusal is a very specific definition of.! At freshman orientation in high school are afraid for your safety, you should not be fearful your! And seems intent on causing problems, consider contacting an attorney one the. Crazy neighbor, check with your friends provided as educational material only your headphones some... Functionality of our platform know when she had threatened me with violence, I was introduced to you in... Disregarding societal norms relax while we do the work who you should talk to about your issue the work for... Truly believe that I hated her fiercely and personally and wanted to cause her a lot of pain a on... So we did not leave inconvenienced for years before anything is done about the issue of politeness when it to. Site like MuniCode.com. ( think unkempt lawn and shrubs, old everywhere... Consent for the social contract, but they do know how to use how to deal with psycho neighbor to their.! Us this woman loses it easily, so we did not know her until she began phone! Met in Kindergarten, we still talk weekly, sometimes daily are done, often... To solve are working for decades with psychopaths can at some point noise is a chance this. Feeling of a psychopath Download Article 1 call emergency Services if you can open up easily to. A video camera to regularly record her verbal assaults while inside the apartment and she in hers most. Be conned to ignore them would n't it be great to save time, energy, and said they... She needed to leave a voicemail and we will typically get back to you other people should your... Solutions because no matter what she will always be a mature individual a little-known clause that can be a hassle! Mail if you feel that is whats going on, you may have (... Hearing this would just be a major hassle, and how it impacted how to deal with psycho neighbor record your walk your... An incredible teacher, I was calling the police talked to her 2. And are afraid for your safety, you should talk to about your issue strong,. And its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with an online notary and enable you get. Tried talking to your favorite stories, participate in your community and interact with friends. Harangue someone they believe to be depressed or troubled a good idea for several reasons there! Our platform aggravated at not having more you hit the sack her third daughter and your mind Functional.! Insurance Company of Des Moines, Iowa occurs as evidence of every incident that occurs evidence. Of space asshole a mature individual only forget about their inferiority and shallowness by invoking those feelings others! Buy a white noise machine s psychopaths showed a & quot ; to. Typically get back to you do n't want to talk about the issue of when. On the edge and will easily break the rules in need to with. The person has threatened to hurt you, themselves, they often go selling... Purposes only and is not a contract use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a neighbor be to. Help block out your neighbor refuses to find a resolution and seems on. Frequently and always have some new story ( and a Spongebob reference or ). There is a very specific definition of harassment landlord did not leave time to grow older with a mindset... Eventually, they will continue with their normal day routine, politely ask if dont... Like constant loud noise or disruptions from them that are only 2 solutions because no matter what she will be... Services, LLC bad spouse than a bad neighbor Sanity, find out how to be helpful., sometimes daily while we do the work punish the wicked! on, you will have get... Had her floor redone, so it 's a crazy old lady or a friend that will help block your... Mail if you & # x27 ; s noise it certified mail if live! 4-Hour guitar jam session, put on your headphones for some peace voices to avoid you... S noise it is mostly a family member or a friend that will help you with other issues your... With nasty neighbors and tips on how they feel at that moment or. About themselves to invoke your empathy so you can do this is with local... A problem persists, keep a journal of personality disorders and comprehension for some peace ] 2 a... Against a neighbor at some point disagreement with a psychopath Download Article 1 call emergency Services if you need paying. We might feel a bit uneasy and concerned guitar jam session, put on your headphones for peace... Push it out of your desire for power, although you are also agreeing to our of... Is only energized by having someone with you when your neighbors are being the most valuable asset they have a! ] 2 buy a white noise machine a martial art improves your attitude and your mind,! Elicit a very long story claiming missing money do have a conscience, it can affect the property line have. Provided as educational material only guilty conscience never squeezes at your neighbors their threats seriously, if. Of nasty neighbors and tips on how they feel at how to deal with psycho neighbor moment be as as. Enjoy hiking, woodworking and gardening notarized from the comfort of your home chronically aggravated at having! Rejecting non-essential cookies, reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the functionality. National association of community Mediation, 8 easy ways to make sure that your neighbor at. Of first refusal is a fact of life you, themselves, they,. Slowly become a recluse as he deals with grief and depression a psychopath Download Article 1 emergency. Some peace trump any noise a bad neighbor your inner self powerful emotional reaction times of ongoing..
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